Being Highly Sensitive: A Gift or a Challenge? You Decide!

Are you wondering whether you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP)? Or perhaps you’re curious about what it really means to be one? Is high sensitivity a gift or a challenge for you? In this article we will explore what it means to be an HSP, in scientific terms Sensory Processing Sensitivity.

Some people have struggled all their life being a highly sensitive person, other people thrive, so what makes the difference? How do you make it work for you instead of against you?

Being a highly sensitive person without the right tools and life skills can feel like playing a violin that’s out of tune, without the finetuning it will not produce something you enjoy listening to. An HSP’s journey is like a musician mastering the violin. At first, it feels overwhelming, too many emotions, too much stimulation, and no control. But with practice, awareness, and the right tools, they can fine-tune themselves, transforming their sensitivity into a source of strength and beauty.

 Understanding yourself and knowing which traits you have is one of the most crucial things to having a better life. If you understand yourself, understand what you need to thrive, it becomes so much easier to create the life you love. If you don’t know how you function, what you thrive on, what pulls you down, what lifts you up, you can’t provide yourself with what you need, and thus you are in a constant state of dealing with life and experiencing it through adapting and accommodating others, which can be very tiring and overwhelming.

The first thing you can explore is whether you are a highly sensitive person or not. Elaine Aron PhD. and other researchers have just recently updated the HSP scale (link is below in the action list). Taking this assessment can give you a strong indication of whether you are an HSP. You can’t get a ‘diagnosis’ because it is not a disorder or a problem, Highly Sensitivity is a neutral temperament trait. Whether you experience it as a gift or a burden often depends on your life experiences and the tools you’ve developed. If you struggle with life and your sensitivity, think of it like a violin; without proper tuning and practice, it won’t produce beautiful music. The finetuning and practice are learning the life skills and tools you needed to thrive as an HSP.

The trait itself is neutral, it is something you are born with, and mostly stable throughout your life. It all depends on how you take care of yourself, if you understand that, you will be capable of making amazing music which other people will appreciate and value very much!

 

A few basic facts from the research:

It is just as common among men as it is in women. It even shows up in over a 100 animal species and is seen as a survival strategy. They found the trait is present in 15-30% of the population, that’s 2 billion people! One of the most common misconceptions is that HSP’s are shy and introverted. Not true; we can be introverted or extroverted, and shy too. Yet shyness is something different than being introverted. When you label a child as being shy, while it is simply introverted, it may start believing it doesn’t like being around people and doesn’t like to engage. So be careful with attaching labels. While the tendency of a lot of HSP’s is to browse the room, look at what’s going on from the side, it just a way to observe and process all the information around you. After they done this, they can thoroughly enjoy interacting with others.

One way of explaining high sensitivity is saying your nervous system is just much more finetuned than that of others. This creates a lot more information to process and without the right understanding and tools this can get confused with disorders such as ASD, ADHD, ADD, or depression and anxiety. Which it is not. Yes, you can have/be both. Being a Highly Sensitive Person is just one of many things that make you unique. Research has shown that there is no direct link to being an HSP and having disorders or even diseases and other problems.

The most important thing to know is when you have no good self-care in place, you are more susceptible to being depressed or anxious. yet it is important to realize we are very good at improving our lives, this is even scientifically proven. When we have the right skills and tools, we can live a thriving and successful life. This is what we call an Empowered HSP (a term used first by Jacquelyn Strickland, who is a pioneer on HSP’s).

What are some of the characteristics of being a highly sensitive?

One thing that makes it easy to remember is DOES, which is an acronym that Elaine Aron PhD. created.

D stands for Depth of processing, thinking deeper than others about your experiences. Constantly analyzing situations, conversations, and even future possibilities. This can lead to overthinking if not managed well.

O stands for Overwhelm, all the input that comes in through our senses can create so much information to process that we get overwhelmed. This happens to everyone, except for HSP’s that moment comes a bit sooner because we just process more.

E is for Emotional responsiveness and Empathy. We have stronger responses to our surroundings and more empathy. In unempowered HSP’s it can become reactive, in empowered HSP’s it is responsive. (the fine-tuned violin vs one which has been left uncared or not maintained for)

The S stands for Sensitive to subtleties. HSPs notice details others miss. This includes changes in mood, body language, or even small physical changes in their surroundings. This heightened awareness extends to light, sound, touch, and even substances like caffeine or alcohol.

Researchers also found out that around 50% of all HSP’s are High Sensation Seekers. Meaning you enjoy adventure, thrill and novelty in your life, you can get bored more easily, are not easily shocked and may enjoy doing ‘out of the box’ things. This can mean that we need more stimulation conversations, don’t enjoy talking about the weather and small talk, but rather have deeper conversations.

Some examples of HSP experiences are;

• Lying in bed at night and going over your day in detail, thinking about what happened, how you could have done things differently, or better. Someone says something slightly off in a conversation, and you spend hours replaying it, wondering if they were upset with you.
• Being very observant, seeing your neighbor got a new haircut, has new glasses, or looks happy or sad today.
• Entering a room and immediately noticing a new painting is on the back wall or the fresh flowers on the table.
• Being really tired after a get-together with friends or a day out, being overwhelmed by too much noise, light, crowded places, and needing time to process the events on your own.
• You are very aware of how other people feel or behave and you can be very self-aware. Wondering if it is something you did, or even it is your fault they are upset.
• Feeling everything very intense, even taking over emotions of other people.
• You always feel like you need to adapt to others or be less sensitive. You have heard so many times that you make things too complicated.
• You adapt very often to what others like you to do/ be and forget or ignore yourself and your own needs and wants.
• You often feel misunderstood.
• You are tired very often.

 

Some misconceptions about the trait

• “HSPs are weak, fragile, and cry all the time.”
  Sensitivity is not weakness, HSPs are resilient when they have the right tools.
• “Being highly sensitive is the same as having anxiety.”
  Sensitivity is not a disorder, though unempowered HSPs may experience stress more intensely.
• “HSPs just need to toughen up.”
  Sensitivity is biologically wired, not something you can “turn off.
• “Being an HSP is just another social media trend.”
  High sensitivity is scientifically researched, it’s a real temperament trait, not a fad.
• Some people call it hypersensitivity, which is more often associated with disorders. The correct term is Highly Sensitive.

How to become an Empowered HSP:

• Go to Sensitivity Research and fill out the self-assessment to find out if you are Highly Sensitive.
• Explore whether you are an introvert or extrovert.
• Do the High Sensation Seeking assessment.
• Accept your sensitivity and embrace it as a gift, instead of seeing it as a burden.
• Learn tools and skills that will improve your life. Having good self-care, being able to set proper boundaries, communicate clearly with others is a necessity to life a happy life.
• Find out as much about yourself as you can. The more you understand about yourself, the better you can provide yourself with the things that make you thrive. Working towards creating a life that suits you requires knowledge and understanding. Without knowing what you need, you cannot become happy and thriving.

Understanding yourself, your strengths, needs, and challenges, is one of the most important and first step toward a fulfilling life. When you know what you need to thrive, you can make choices that support your well-being. But if you don’t recognize your own nature, you may find yourself constantly adapting to others, leading to overwhelm and exhaustion. Taking charge of your own life is key, you are the one who can make changes, others are often not going to do what is in your best interest, and are not even responsible for that, you are.

Being highly sensitive is not a weakness, it is a unique and valuable trait. While HSPs may face challenges such as overstimulation and emotional intensity, they also have incredible strengths, including deep thinking, creativity, and empathy.  The difference between suffering as an HSP and thriving as one isn’t about changing who you are, it’s about learning how to work with your sensitivity rather than against it.

Would you like to explore whether you are an HSP? Want to learn how you can thrive as an HSP? Reach out to us to explore what we can do to help you on your adventure of life!