“Trust will get you killed!
Love will get you hurt!
&
Being real will get you hated!”
Johnny Cash
I’m not sure I can say it any better than Johnny did, for there is accuracy in his words.
Trust by far is one of the most difficult beliefs to obtain in another person, and even in yourself. But there is a huge misconception of the true meaning of trust.
For most, they believe once trust is established, it’s the responsibility of the person they now trust to maintain it. But that is not entirely true. It takes both parties to work together in order to retain the levels of trust built. You see, time is the key component, initially there is little to no trust between two people, but as time and actions pass by, trust is either built or destroyed.
If it is built by time and certain actions, would not those very actions need to be continued? When I say continued, what I am referring to is both people’s actions.
Case and point, a couple fall in lust (I say lust because love is another action built with time and actions). They get married under the premise they share common beliefs and gaols. As time goes by and they do things together that provide the right combination of actions to build not just trust, but love.
More time goes by and one of those people begin to reduce the effort required to even just maintain both the trust and love, while the other is trying hard if not harder to keep it alive and make it grow, often picking up the slack of the other person. More time goes by and the one who has receded has found a comfortable place of existence, curled up on a couch till 1:00am in the morning watching TV, while the other is laying alone in bed wondering what they are doing so wrong to be ignored.
More time goes by, 10 years for example. and the one who has been putting in all the effort starts to tire, not only that, they begin to realize the love is gone. Do they still have trust? on some levels, yes. They trust that the person who is comfortable will remain comfortable as long as the person putting in the effort remains putting in the effort.
They trust that what once was a dream of companionship has now turned into a curse of slavery. They trust that while the one person appears to be happy, they are miserable. Some are brave enough to confront the comfortable person, hoping to awaken them from their deep slumber. Others, just drop their heads and accept their fate.
Some decide they have had enough and after many attempts, turn to a new dream. It is when they do, the comfortable person wakes up, but not in an attempt to repair the damage created, but to cast cruelty and malice towards the person who has now moved on. Is it because they now realize the love and trust they once had has been lost, or is it because they are now being forced out of the comfort they placed themselves in?
Figure 1. An HRP will stay in a relationship for a lifetime.
Until they’re forced to move on after numerous severe heartaches.
For the comfortable person, they will always find it easier to place responsibility on the person leaving, for they seldom will accept their role in why they are leaving. Instead, they will make every attempt to poison the other person’s life, in essence trying to make them as uncomfortable as they can. Why, because they are now feeling uncomfortable and want the other person to feel the same way, when in reality, the person leaving was already there and that’s why they are leaving.
If we were honest with each other, and were able to communicate on a deep meaningful level, maybe these types of situations could be avoided. It takes a very special couple to realize this. Highly Responsive People have been proven to be the kindest and most caring people on this planet. They will give and give until their fingers bleed. Their ability to think deeply and see the subtleties others simply cannot has been proven time and time again. And yes, they are far more aware of their own feelings than most, but they can also sense the feelings of others.
This means, when they are genuinely loved by another person, they feel it, and not just superficially, but deeply. Equally, they feel it when they are not. They will try and do everything they can to bring that feeling back, often going above and beyond to do so, but in the end when they have exhausted all measures, they come to the realization, it is lost forever.
They then have two options facing them, to stay or to go. By staying, they commit themselves to a life of pain, pain they already know from being a Highly Responsive Person in a very insensitive world. They go, because they once felt what real love was, and they miss it deeply. Many know by going they will be casted as a villain, but most HRPs feel that way anyway, thanks to the misunderstanding casted out by society about our trait.
Breaking trust is not always just one person purposefully causing harm on another, that is the work of a narcissist. But know this: a narcissist will lure a trusting person into their den, establish a decorative environment to trick them into believing they are loved, then once the narcissist gets what they want; a safe home, children, money, cars, security, they no longer have need for the trusting person, and the narcissist then sits back and enjoys the comfort, never once caring for that trusting person again.
Figure 2. Looking to find a soulmate love? Find an HRP.
If you’re in a relationship with a High Responding Person, cherish that, for you have a very special person in your life. Learn about them, talk with them. Allow them to express their feelings to you and accept how they feel unconditionally and they will love you till the end of all time. Ignore them, and all your doing is hurting them even more than society already does.
Equally, if you’re not a person that can do that, please leave these kind and caring people alone, allow them to find their true soul mates.
