Beware the two faces of takers for their intentions lay deep
In life, there is a spectrum of givers and takers. At one end, there are extreme givers and at the other, extreme takers. As High Responsive People (HRPs), we are more of the giving type. I have yet to meet a true HRP that I would identify as a taker; it’s just not in their biological make up. Don’t get me wrong, there are those posing as really nice people, giving the impression they are Highly Responsive, but they are the proverbial wolves cloaked as sheep. That said, we can be assured most takers are definitely on the lower responsiveness scale (My 5-10-70-10-5 Rule).
If anything, many Highly Responsive People would be in the extreme giver category due to their empathy and compassion. While a sociopath and narcissist would be extreme takers. Of course, there are givers and takers who fall in-between.
Takers are like savage hunters, seeking their prey as if it was a defenceless animal in the wild. Givers tend to be their targets, especially if you’re a Highly Sensitive Person. Now I do say Highly Sensitive with the utmost respect, for those are the ones that have yet reached an emotional intelligence level that allows them to manage their trait effectively. To the takers, Highly Sensitive People are like the 12-point buck laying quietly in the meadow focused on the sun rising, easy to get!
Takers disguise themselves very well, often using our deep sense of empathy, compassion and guilt as weapons against us. Their methods are very sophisticated and their plans can be implemented over a few days and can go on for even a few years. Spotting them is the challenge, for we tend to be people who trust easily, hence why many of us hide from others. Our own ability to say no, is often riddled with guilt, guilt within ourselves and that guilt feels horrible to us.
Respect is something we also hand over easily, as a good high responding friend said to me once, “I give everyone the resect I feel they deserve, it’s their own actions that remove it.” When you hear people say “you need to earn my respect,” I automatically place them out of the giver category. The reason why many of us avoid people is so that we don’t have to feel the guilt in saying NO, and, as a result, we make sure we avoid getting taken.
Our lives are a precious gift. A gift based on time, time we do not have control over. So, when we hide away from people, we tend not to live the amazing lives we could. By hiding, are the takers not taking time away from us? In essence, robbing us of a life we could have? Or are we ourselves taking it away from us, saying “I’m happier like this?” Either way, life itself is the cost.
Saying no and not feeling guilty by doing so is nothing more than a healthy boundary. Learning to set healthy boundaries is the key. As Highly Responsive people, we can be polite, kind, and caring while still holding true to our own set of boundaries when it comes to other people.
On top of that, we have a unique gift many others do not; that gift is our elevated intuition. So, use your “Spidy Sense” when you’re out and about, and “feel your way” through situations. The more you practice, the better developed it becomes. Learn to trust it, and learn that it’s ok to say “No, thank you.” Staying alone and avoiding people only diminishes the possibility of that elevated intuition from reaching its full potential.