We all have a trait: Since the dawn of mankind, each and every one of us was born with a trait, a biological aspect of our psychological makeup. A character trait is how we represent ourselves to the world. Those of us that have studied the HSP trait, be it a little or a lot, will probably know it’s not something that we contracted. A myth I am desperately trying to extinguish because its false.
For some unexplained reason, we were given this trait at conception, call it God’s will if you wish. But we are not alone, everyone was born with a specific trait, and not all are nice. If we look at the likes of Jeffry Dahmer, Charles Manson, and Adolf Hitler, three individuals in history that were inherently born with an evil trait, while Mother Teresa, Lhamo Thondup aka The Dali lama, and Nelson Mandela are three examples of people born with a trait that is kind in nature.
My question to the world is, which group would you prefer to be in? I know mine! Another biological discovery was that we humans, and other living creatures, give off electromagnetic radiation. It’s in the form of a lower frequency than visible light. I can not help but feel it….literally. Some HSPs can sense the frequency that other traits give off. “Oh that’s ‘mumbo jumbo’” some may say. Maybe, but how can one explain that so-called ‘gut instinct’ we get around not-so-good people? Don’t take my word for it, there is enough scientific research on the web to validate my thoughts, research I have spent years looking into.
After you confirm that, then research emotional frequency and you will see the relationship between people’s traits and why we with super sensitive nerves can detect others very quickly by just walking into the room. Are we always correct? Absolutely not! This is why we must be cautious and ease into a situation before making any judgment, which brings us back to lesson 3, the 3-R’s.
If one takes the time to closely study people and their behaviors, you will see similarities between them. Sadly, many try to group people into as few categories as possible so as to simplify their own dealing with them. Equally, people tend to cast out those that do not fit within their own character traits using the easiest form of separation possible: visual. Be it the color of one’s skin, the clothes they wear, the tattoos or body piercings they have, or a combination of other visual references, people form “clicks” based on their character trait while accepting those that fit in and casting out those that don’t.
I have spent a great deal of time examining people and their traits, not just my own. Although I am no expert, I find that there are some that we HSPs need to avoid, these are:
- The performer – These are the people that love an audience. They talk and talk and talk, never ever letting others say a word. They often talk about the same things over and over again, not realizing the listener has heard that story countless times. It’s like a comedian standing on stage telling the same joke again and again. After a while, it’s no longer funny. In fact, there comes a point when it’s annoying.
- The Boss – This is a trait where the owner of it demands authority. They are not to be confused with leaders, for they are not. Bosses do just that, boss people around as they feel they are the only ones who know what they are doing. Bosses have huge egos and they go to great lengths in defending them.
- The BSer – Now, you might think that stands for bull S#$t, but it doesn’t. This trait is the backstabber. The ones that look you in the eye and smile nicely, but the minute you turn your back, they are quick to throw you under the bus.
- The Avoider – This trait is probably the most damaging to any society, for they are many. They see something happening, they know it’s wrong and they choose to close a blind eye and not get involved. This allows the darker, more extroverted ones in society to flourish, even though their numbers are few.
- The Angel – I love these people; they are kind and supportive in any way they can be. They may or may not be HSP. Their hearts are in the right place and they tend to get walked on, but they keep trying.
- The Oblivious – This trait is truly just wandering the halls of life, bumping into the odd event or person, unaware of what’s going on around them.
These are just a few of the traits I have seen in people. There is another trait that has been identified that I hold, that being:
- SS – Sensation-seeking, also called thrill-seeking or excitement-seeking, is the tendency to pursue new and different sensations, feelings, and experiences. The trait describes people who chase novel, complex, and intense sensations, who love experience for its own sake, and who may take risks to pursue those experiences.
As an HSP combined with the SS trait, I will be the first to admit, I have work to do within myself. The two are like oil and water at times. But at least I understand that. Many people never give their traits a single thought. In fact, some of them categorized people into only two groups, themselves and “those people”. People are unique, for that, there is no question. Each having both strengths and weaknesses that they are dealing with, most unknowingly. I have learned, however, I can not and will not see everyone on this planet in a unique way, nor would I suggest others do for that would be impossible. I do, however, see those closest to me as individuals with characteristics vastly different than my own. I also take the time to learn who they truly are and never expect them to be like me. Our relationships thrive as they can be themselves and I can be myself with each respecting the other.
Relationships fail when one or both expect the other to change to the character traits that they themselves hold, even if they are not conscious of it. And that is what I call, “The controller!” Someone we HSPs need to avoid! Equally, anyone can have a combination of traits, like a performer and boss trait combined make a very difficult person indeed, whereas an HSP with an Angel trait makes one exceptionally kind, generous, and non-threatening, but extremely introverted and self-punishing. Recently I did a talk about these various traits and those that listened came back to say “Holy smokes, you’re right! I now can see them”. For them, it was like suddenly seeing the trees that make up the forest. As an HSP, we tend to not just see the trees, but the bark that wraps them.